As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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