she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
