We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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