tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
one might say we're banned from that church
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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