he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
