She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
