oh god the rape fog is back!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
