Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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