I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
