so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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