I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
