he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
