I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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