I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
