do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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