When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
