After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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