So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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