where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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