It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
