: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Jerry, you need to find god
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize