HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
