He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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