There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize