new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just gargled with NyQuil
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
