When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They took my balls.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
