she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
