I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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