So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
