whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
