well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
