haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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