I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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