I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
