hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize