There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
