the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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