Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish you could order shots online.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize