oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
