So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I deserve this hangover.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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