Buhtt sex?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
