shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I need help removing her.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
