i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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