Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
