one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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