Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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