Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize