It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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