I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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