I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize