She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
3 2 1 whiskey
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
