Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
