I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
