just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
