Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
