4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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