My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
