Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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