If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
