it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
